Top Eleven Types of HOES

11. "The Undercover Hoe": This type of ho often goes

Unnoticed in the community, and can only be detected by a trained eye.

She holds down a decent job during the day, but is secretly hoeing around

With at least 5 different trifling men. Two of these men are married,

and at least one of these men is dating her best friend.



10. "The Church Hoe": Her hair and nails is always

done. This hoe be in church every Sunday and carries

A Bible with her at all times, but spends Tuesday through Saturday

night of every week in a different club. She is sometimes mistaken

for the Undercover Hoe.



9. "High Class Hoe" (A.K.A. the "The Glamour Hoe"):

This type of hoe rocks Prada and Versace, and only dates players,

ballers, and shot callers. She is most often the cause of some fight in a

(i.e.Source awards). She tries to act like she`s got

class but confuses regular English with Ebonics. She

also has trouble with simple arithmetic.



8. "Old Hoe" The Old Hoe use to be tight "in her

day," and thinks she still looks good for her age.

She tries to wear all the Soul Train fashions, thinking that she will

blend in with the rest of the hunnies. You can find her at any club on

any given night, grinding on the dance floor during any

song, with any man, of any age.



7. "Nasty Hoe": This Hoe has not exactly been

blessed in the looks department, but is usually very popular

with the men for her other talents. Most often, she has a

`tight` body, and can be found working in a strip club.



6. "Sneaky Hoe": The Sneaky Hoe cannot be trusted in

anyone`s home or with anyone`s man. Money and other

personal items "turn up missing" not long after she`s gone. She is

always "dipped" and can never remember where she`s purchased the

coveted item of clothing. The Sneaky Hoe aspires to be Undercover

Hoe but has already made too many enemies by stealing.



5. "Bourgeois Hoe": This type of hoe is an educated

and professional woman with many credits to her

name, she dresses well and has a sophisticated circle of friends. To

the outside, these women are perfect, however these Hoes have

multiple Partners and sleep with married men like "Undercover

Ho", Perpetrate on Sunday like "Church Hoe," get played by men just

like "Stupid Hoe," obsessed with name brands and status like "High

Class Hoe" and best of all...Bourgeois Hoe looks down on all the other

Hoes.



4. "Project Hoe": This Hoe is living ghetto

fabulous, Squeezing money and Trinkets out of her drug dealing

"baby daddies." She likes to fight and you will most often hear her

before you see her.



3. "Stupid Hoe": She is usually very cute. The

Stupid Hoe keeps a string of men who constantly come over

after midnight for bootie calls. They often return to eat her food,

watch her cable, and borrow her car and/or money. She complains about

them to her friends(i.e. Sneaky Hoe and Project Hoe) but never

does anything about it.



2. "Crazy Hoe": This is a popular Hoe. Although she

is very smart, theCrazy Hoe is virtually an upgrade

from the Stupid Hoe. She has the same terrible luck with men, but

unlike the Stupid Ho, she seeks revenge. Her area of expertise

include slashing tire, keying cars,making prank calls from unlisted

numbers, visiting the trifling man (or other Hoes) job, and appearing on

Judge Mathis for any of the unforementioned activities.





And FINALLY!



"The Stank Hoe": This is perhaps the most popular

Hoe of them all. The Stank Hoe has appeared on shows such

as Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. She has deluded

herself into believing that she is beautiful, and she sleeps with everyone

to justify it. Her choice of wardrobe most often includes spandex (of every

color), bra tops, and stripper shoes. She has a permanent "unwashed" look

about herself that cannot be removed with any amount of water or soap.